Stacked Intent
Just wanted to share a little about the Stacked Intent podcast is hosted by Becca Stackhouse-Morson (me), and she’s all about helping you live your best life, no apologies needed. Along with our nutrition episodes co-hosted by Ashleigh Geurin, who has a fantastic background and passion for nutrition education, and our relationship episodes co-hosted by Sarah Bradley, who has a passion to serve the rural community to help improve their relationships.
What can you expect from the Stacked Intent podcast? The podcast raises the bar to another level. We dive deep into topics like healthy relationships, finance, nutrition, and we even explore special topics, all backed by solid research-based information. You're in for a real treat when you tune in.
If you're ready to embark on a journey of intentional living, building unapologetic confidence in yourself, and stacking your life with purpose, give Stacked Intent a listen. It's all about helping you become the best version of yourself.
Stacked Intent is a Family Life Education business, resonating with individuals who aspire to rediscover or discover their most authentic version of themselves. We provide resources to inspire individuals to rediscover or discover their most impactful decisions regarding their relationship with money, time, and energy, contributing to goal setting and decision-making through a comprehensive understanding of self. The opportunity to help just one person in understanding that their whole world is impacted when they have a healthy self-relationship is core and with a background in Family Studies, I aim to provide individuals with a space to embrace their authenticity.
There was a pivotal question asked by my mom that sparked a realization about the need for guidance in fostering healthy relationships. The question she asked, “Why are you easily able to talk about relationships and sex in the County programming you are presenting?” I simply answered her with, "If not me, then who is going to help these teenagers learn how a healthy relationship is possible?" Too often our society beautifies a relationship (i.e. romantic, family, friendship), but doesn’t teach the true meaning and healthy relationship boundaries. This lit my passion to share with individuals through each transition that is truly a possibility to live in understanding that healthy is a possibility when you understand your most authentic version of yourself. From a place of pain of losing friendships, becoming a one directional friendship, or simply those who were temporary along life’s road, it is important to know and practice the keys to create well balanced and healthy relationships. There are relationship break ups and choosing to be single with much self-reflection to the development of the authentic version of self. From all these places Stacked Intent, was created to provide resources through research-based podcasting, courses, workshops, seminars, blogs, and social media posts.
Stacked Intent
Childhood Trauma and Its Adult Impacts
Identifying Childhood Trauma:
- Types: Trigger Warning, Physical abuse, Spiritual abuse, Emotional/psychological abuse, Sexual abuse, Neglect, Chronic stress
- Signs in Children: Difficulty sleeping, Changes in appetite, Emotional changes, Attention problems
- Signs in Adults: Anxiety, Substance use, Depression, Memory problems
- Sources: Witnessing natural disasters, Violence in the community or household
Impact on Adults and Relationships:
- Factors: Development level, Cultural factors, Resources available
- Changes in brain processing stimuli
- Impact on responses: Hypervigilance, Dissociation, Anxiety
- Effects on relationships: Emotional regulation issues, Addiction, Numbing behaviors
Addressing Trauma Imprint:
- Holding onto trauma for years
- Moving through trauma: Build community, Recognize impact, Therapy, Healthy coping mechanisms
- Relational support: Soft touch, Listening, Simple gestures
Be gentle with oneself and loved ones during the healing process.
Call to action: Trauma does not get to dictate your life. You do. If you feel as if what happened to you has taken your control away, there are resources to help. Take some time to think about the things in your life that you’d like to change and one or two ways that you can start moving toward your goals. If you need some help with this, think of a friend or two or a professional therapist or mentor who might be able to work with you to get you moving in the direction you want to go.
Thank you for tuning into Stacked Intent to be authentically YOU! Be sure to leave a review and follow us on instagram.
Topic 1: Identify what different kinds of childhood trauma can look like.
What is childhood trauma?
Ways that childhood trauma can occur:
- Trigger Warning
- Physical abuse
- Spiritual abuse - when someone uses spiritual or religious beliefs to hurt, scare or control you
- Emotional/psychological abuse - emotional abuse often relies more on verbal threats and insults while psychological abuse may encompass a wider range of behaviors such as manipulation, control, or intimidation.
- Sexual abuse
- neglect
- chronic stress (parent’s physical/mental health, moving a lot, financial stress, etc)
- Violence eliminates safety in a relationship and makes it very difficult for trust to be rebuilt.
Ways we can typically identify childhood traumas amongst children can come out as difficulty sleeping, imitating the traumatic events, changes in an appetite, anger, sadness, irritability, emotional unavailability, hyperactivity, attention problems, depression, and anxiety.
Ways we can identifying childhood trauma as an adult can come through anxiety, hypervigilance, substance use, depression, chronic pain, memory problems, mood swings, anger, problems being able to handle stress, dissociation, false memories, and insecure attachment styles are a few that can happen and show up in as one is in their adulthood.
Did you know that childhood drama can come from exposure to traumatic events as well. This can be from witnessing a natural disaster or violence within a community or from within your household growing up.
Topic 2: Discuss impact of childhood trauma on adults and relationships.
Childhood reaction and factors that come into play with childhood trauma this can be the development level when the trauma occurred, cultural factors, previous exposures to trauma, resources that are available, or a preexisting child and family problem.
trauma changes the way your brain processes stimuli
- it creates “shortcuts” for certain connections between our brain and body
- rapid activation
adaptive vs. maladaptive coping
- hypervigilance
- dissociation
- anxiety
- catastrophizing/generalizing
impact on adult responses
- husband/wife relationship, wife’s father was emotionally abusive: husband raises his voice slightly to emphasize his point and the wife floods and shuts down
- sexual trauma: person who experienced CSA panics and reacts when their romantic partner tries to kiss or touch them/person is unable to experience pleasure during sexual intimacy because of their CSA
- over time, exposure to trauma can heighten someone’s resting heart rate
- BPM - tachycardia
- hyper activation
- cycle of regulation and dysregulation
- Childhood traumas can impact the way you are able to create an attachment within romantic or other relationships.
- lack of emotional regulation
- addiction
- numbing behaviors
- isolation
Topic 3: Discuss how we can address the imprint of trauma in our lives.
This is hard:
people hold onto trauma for years, even decades.
- sometimes, people even change the narrative in their own mind that it wasn’t as bad as they once thought, just as a means of survival.
trauma changes the way our brains develop and respond to the world - it changes us. It makes the past present
if you find yourself activating whenever you even get close to thinking about your trauma, that’s a signal to seek professional help.
How do we move through this?
- Build your community!
- historically, people lived their lives together
- ritual
- rhythm
- connection
- belief
- small moments of connection and experience (releasing the trauma); not necessarily big confessions.
- recognize, not condemn.
- see the impact, do not condemn yourself for it
- once seen, it can be addressed
- therapy
- develop healthy ways of coping with powerful emotion
- we’re not trying to erase trauma - it’s part of what shaped you into who you are
- learning to live with those parts of ourselves in ways that work for us instead of against us
- Relationally - know your loved one and what works best for them
- soft touch
- a smile
- listening - build trust by genuinely listening and being attuned to your loved one’s needs
- a simple gesture (getting them a glass of water or a cup of tea/coffee, offering them a cookie/snack, getting them a blanket if they’re cold, etc)
It still hurts
- Be gentle with yourself and your loved ones during this part of the process.
- Reworking the pattern of your life is hard and can be painful and scary at first!
- especially after years of operating a different way or burying your trauma
- If you or your partner are having issues with managing your emotions during this process, a therapist might be helpful here. They can assist in identifying barriers and developing coping skills that are customized to you.
What happened to you helped shape you, but it DOES NOT define you.
Recap:
OBJECTIVE 1 - Identify what different kinds of childhood trauma can look like.
OBJECTIVE 2 - Discuss impact of childhood trauma on adults and relationships.
OBJECTIVE 3 - Discuss how we can address the imprint of trauma in our lives.
Call to action: Trauma does not get to dictate your life. You do. If you feel as if what happened to you has taken your control away, there are resources to help. Take some time to think about the things in your life that you’d like to change and one or two ways that you can start moving toward your goals. If you need some help with this, think of a friend or two or a professional therapist or mentor who might be able to work with you to get you moving in the direction you want to go.
Resources and where to connect.
What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing, by Dr. Bruce Perry, M.D., Ph.D., & Oprah Winfrey
The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.
